Government agencies continue to lay the responsibility of sexually transmitted disease on women. The Gardasial vaccination, which protects women from cervical cancer, has also been found beneficial for men in contracting genital worse. Rather than helping to reduce the prevalence of genital warts in men AND women, they argue against requiring men to have the vaccine by stating it is more “cost-effective” for only women to receive inoculation.To be completely honest, I am against the government mandating vaccines for diseases that do not appear to be a public pandemic. However, no gender should be forced by pharmaceutical companies, the government, etc. to carry the heavy load of sexual protection.

Here’s the article from the Wall Street Journal discussing the decision ( http://blogs.wsj.com/health/2009/10/21/routine-gardasil-vaccination-for-boys-not-recommended/):

It’s fine if parents want their sons to get Gardasil, Merck’s vaccine against HPV. But it shouldn’t be added to the list of routine vaccinations recommended for all boys, a CDC advisory panel said today.Gardasil is on the routine list for girls, because it protects against some of the strains of HPV that cause cervical cancer. For boys and young men, though, the vaccine has only been approved to protect against genital warts.

Because HPV is sexually transmitted, there is an argument that vaccinating boys would reduce the risk of unvaccinated girls getting HPV. But Gardasil is a three-shot series that costs about $390, and a CDC economist who addressed the panel said that expanding vaccination to more girls was more cost-effective than adding routine vaccination for boys, Dow Jones Newswires reports

So the committee gave Gardasil a “permissive” recommendation — meaning it’s ok to use in boys and young men who want it — but stopped short of saying everyone should get it.

The committee also recommended another vaccine, GlaxoSmithKline’s Cervarix, for use in girls and women ages 10 to 25 to prevent cervical cancer. The FDA approved Cervarix for girls and women last week. Cervarix will cost about $385 for a three-dose series, according to the Associated Press.

Some people confuse acceptance with apathy, but there’s all the difference in the world. Apathy fails to distinguish between what can and what cannot be helped; acceptance makes that distinction. Apathy paralyzes the will-to-action; acceptance frees it by relieving it of impossible burdens. – Arthur Gordon

money is the root of most stress.  the last couple of weeks have drained me financially and emotionally. a series of circumstances has produced bitterness and frustration, largely directed at my university. two to three months ago, i was supposed to be awarded with  grant, which would have mitigated my financial troubles. but with clumsy structure of the administration department, my fund never arrived. i spent much of yesterday morning talking to whoever would listen about my delayed grant, resulting in the same answers just as when i began – none. after going back to the person who applied for the grant, i was told that he would work on it, but he is burdened by more pressing issues.  my frustration is leading to hopelessness and bitterness.

to exacerbate things, plans that i tried to put in place to buoy myself have been futile. my efforts to find a job that allows me to collect hours while paying modestly has been moot. after calling every connect that i had and their insistence that they were in need of an employee, no one ever followed-up. playing phone and email tag with people who claim to be swamped because they do not have enough workers is dejecting. i understand that you may be busy, but how can ignore someone trying to eagerly join your organization. is it because i am a graduate student and you believe that i will wait forever for you since my options are minimal? so i am not without appropriated money, people are stalling in hiring me.  one more point of contention: these “connects” are fellow alumni of the university. i’m approaching a point where i want nothing to do with anyone from this school.

even though i have less obligations, i am not looking forward to it. the politics, the cajoling, the “rationalizing”, and the unnecessaryness of it all has exceeded its welcome for me. this year i am only concerned with 4 things: doing well on my externship, doing more assessments, volunteering, and finishing my dissertation. i have no intention to linger around the halls and make chit chat with people. sure this reads like bitterness and discontent to outside eyes, but that is the situation. the last 3 years have been full of great times, but also times of great dejection. i have little desire to enter into academia; in fact, i have little desire to work within a big institution, although i am still  interested in working in public policy. i haven’t quite made up my mind on about this public policy interest. trying to be political and wheedling is draining and makes me feel like a liar. i’m just happy to see a light at the end of the tunnel that permits me to write my own ticket.

to be on point everyday, all day is draining.  it leads people to have such high expectations, and in some cases, unrealistic.  i take pride that people want to see me excel and are actively try to faciliate it. however, the pressure weighs me down. it’s weird living on the east coast.  people are incredibly ambitious and addicted to work, whereas i like to balance my obligations.  even though i have been here for almost 3 years and have grown accustomed to much of the ways of the northeast, what i haven’t fully accepted is this need to be frantically moving from one place or task to the next.  the stress of one responibility is compounded by the anxiety of trying to complete all the tasks with quality.  so on some days, i say enough is enough, and release my worry about maximizing my potential for a moment, and just do the best i can do with this level of energy.

i am so tired – no exhausted.  school is not in session, and i am still only getting a few hours of sleep.   many of nights extend to 3 or 4 in the morning typing up reports or working on my thesis.  just so i can get up early the next morning to resume my work.  i usually end up like the picture.  dozing off at my computer has now become a signal that bedtime has arrived.  attempts to catch-up are futile since it puts me behind on work.  i’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.

i wonder when i will have one week where i can do absolutely nothing.  i miss my carefree summers.  i chose this position because of the experience, but a respite would not hurt.

how come some people with PhDs cannot admit they’re out of their depth in some areas?  what is so difficult about recognizing one’s weaknesses?

this entire thesis process has been one of the worst academic experiences of my life.  i feel like a ping pong ball bouncing back and forth between someone skilled in one area dispensing emprical information on and someone else who is an a dillettante in the same realm.  i’m drained, tired, and upset.  all i want is to defend my thesis and walk away with my master’s.  instead, it just hangs above my head like a black cloud.  people who are out of their depth should not try to swim.  they need to signal the lifeguard and head back to more shallow waters.   i’m through with being confused and being set-up to like the idiot.  i’m through with this lingering assignment.  i’m through with being treated as a child.  i can no longer protect someone who is impeding my matriculation.  it’s not fair to me and it is not fair to other students.

summers go by quickly and i am already overwhelmed.  my list of things to do has already began to pile up.  i’m trying to stay focused and diligent, but i really just want to sleep.  hopefully, i develop a routine that’s practical and effective.

my parents taught me to stand up for myself. no matter the situation, no matter the person.  allowing someone to degrade, humiliate, and dehumanize me was proscribed and I deserved better.  but what does “standing up for yourself” really mean? as you get older, you encounter people who hold your education, career, potential progress, and, sometimes life, in the palm of their hand, which can be pulverized in an instant.

maneuvering through this program has introduced me to an assortment of personalities.  you would think psychology would be a field saturated with touchy-feely, compassionate people.  in reality, these benevolent qualities are reserved for clients- not graduate students or trainees.  we, the students, experience the other side.  the side that is irascible.  the side that is eager to scold when typos are present.  the side that may hold contempt for students.  the vengeful side to get back at students who slightly critique or question them.   but the fact remains, recommendations, placement sites, grades, and assistance are needed.  how do you sustain dignity without making yourself a target for future reprisal?  keeping myself on this tight rope is mentally draining.   i regularly see  students being treated as less than human.  i always think “if that were me, i’d…” and most of the time i would.  this time is different though.

i burned a sizable amount of bridges my second year.  i felt valid in my disdain for the site and the people.  their unethical treatment stagnated my professional development.   their outlandish behavior served as a template that should not be copied.  now, i find myself in a similar predicament, but to a much lesser extreme.  i’m oscillating between speaking about my raw feelings or just letting the incident slide because in the grand scheme, it is small.  however, the principle of “standing up for yourself” pulls me back.  i need as many open opportunities as possible.  i need future recommendation letters.  i need help in multiple academic domains.  i need this esoteric network of local psychologists to not develop preconceived notions of me and my abilities.   i do not have the luxury of eliminating possible professional relationships.  i used up all my passes.

the main goal is the phd.  numerous times i have been told to pick my battles.  that’s easy to do being on the other side of the fence.  for me, someone who is not there yet and groomed on the old axiom, it is difficult to discern what and when is the headache worth it.  is this a battle worth fighting?