i must admit that group activities have never been a favorite of mines. i can remember back into the days of middle and high school where i would mentally cross my fingers in the hopes of the teacher not saying it was a group project. with a group, it is not often a shared forum. there is generally one person who conducts the grunt work or is given the short-end of the stick as i like to see it. equality is rarely in the equation. many times i was saddled with the goal of ensuring an A because most times it was group grade. when the question arose as to who should be in which group, students would hope it would be me cause i was an guaranteed A for them. eventually, i grew weary of being the keeper of excellence and feigned dumbness. it was not soley due to group activities, but partially so. i did not like carrying everyone’s work, even though i often opted to as a means for control.

it was not until recently, say-oh the last 2 years, where i have become to acc–no, tolerate working with others to accomplish one goal. i have the courage to take the leap of faith to put my trust and control in the hands of others. in stark contrast to the academic world, social group activities have never been a qualm for me. in fact, i relished in them. it kind of gave me a place to hide and a mode of entertainment in watching the mixtures of personalities. plus, there were more heads to conjure up more ideas when things began to lull. i recall in my teenage years going to the movies with a group of buddies and having the time of my life. because it was never just the movies, you would be sure another pal would suggest another activity to prolong our parental escape.

now in my mid-20s, i am beginning to learn that i am not so gung-ho for such shenanigans. i need structure, not capriciousness. i mentally prepare myself for the planned festivities. i do not enjoy the whims of others to jettison the program, which inevitability curtails my own interests for the night. i really do not have the stamina nor time for it. to add, groups insinuate a wide range of logistics (meeting times, where we are going, what people want to do, what people don’t want to do, who is broke, who cannot eat this or that, and other sorts of prosy details) that must be acquiesced. if you dare be a rebel and object, then beware for looks of scorn. all of the risks for a successful group outing are too much for me. i would rather enjoy my interests alone or with A partner than to endanger marring a good time.